DR. WALLACE: I'm a second-year college student, and my new boyfriend of three months is already wearing me out with his boundless energy. It seems like he always has to be moving, as he likes mountain climbing, hiking difficult trails, off-road riding, and playing pickup basketball games with his friends, even on a coed basis!

He will also regularly organize volleyball games and group bicycle rides as well. He expects me to participate in everything that he does, but to be honest, more than half the time I feel exhausted before we ever go on an outing. Since it doesn't look like he's going to grow out of the phase he's in, does this mean that we are incompatible? I prefer leisurely walks, visiting museums, reading good books and sitting somewhere to enjoy a beautiful view or a nice sunset. I prefer to share my good times at a much slower pace of life than he does. — I'm Not Sure I Can Keep Up, via email

NOT SURE I CAN KEEP UP: Be honest with him! Let him know that you'd be happy to participate in some of the events that he likes to arrange but that you would appreciate it if he would share some of his time with you doing some of the things you enjoy as well. The hallmark of a great relationship is compromise, mutual trust and mutual consideration.

Bringing this topic up with him in a casual yet important way will greatly illuminate where you stand at this point in this relationship. Have a few of your favorite activities ready to discuss, and even specific dates and times for outings ready, so that if the conversation goes well, you can get him on the record as committing to some of the things you want to do over the next week or two.

Finally, there are times when the two of you can overlap with each other's areas of interest, and times you can both go off with your own friends and spend time with different friends, not involving your significant other.

I SOMETIMES BLURT OUT UNWISE COMMENTS

DR. WALLACE: I'm a teenager, and I have a bad habit that I know I need to correct. My primary fault is that I'll often blurt out a comment that I will later come to regret.

Sometimes I say things in the moment in an effort to be funny, or sometimes I think I do it to get more attention, like when I'm speaking with a group of friends. More than once, I've noticed others look at me with a funny look on their face, and even a couple of times people have come up to me later and said that a comment I made was very inappropriate.

How can I best know which comments to make and which ones not to make when I'm in a fast-moving conversation, especially in a group? — Sometimes Say the Wrong Thing, via email

SOMETIMES SAY THE WRONG THING: The first thing I feel you should do is to absolutely slow down and not rush your comments. Even when you think of something to say, or have something that you think is funny, you don't need to say it immediately out loud. Take a moment to think about it carefully, and then make sure your comments within the conversation will be unlikely to be taken poorly. It's far better to miss out on making one or two potentially funny but questionable comments than to actually say something out loud that is truly out of line.

Practice this as you move forward, and start with a tighter filter on yourself. Gradually loosen that filter when you feel you have more control in knowing what is and isn't appropriate to say in front of other people. People often say conversation is an art, so use your colors boldly but carefully.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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