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These Fifth Graders Have Wise Opinions Nov. 15, 2025
I will speak to almost any room about the miracle of local news. However, one annual event strikes f... Read More
Down With Light Bites Nov. 08, 2025
I get the same question at every cocktail event. When I kindly wave off a cater waiter circling with... Read More
My Favorite Dental Appointment Nov. 07, 2025
If you asked people where they were and what they were doing when they had the first experience they... Read More
An Ode to the Perfect Ride Nov. 01, 2025
A humble roller coaster exists, a sacred jewel of a ride that we as a culture don't talk about enoug... Read More
Mild, Multilevel Me Oct. 31, 2025
I have nothing against doctors. Some of them have saved my life. Some of them have damn near killed ... Read More
Stop Trying to Sell Me Plastic Souvenir Cups! Oct. 25, 2025
It's fall festival season, haunted house season, trunk-or-treat season. Amid the 50/50 raffles, soft... Read More
The None-of-My-Business Column Oct. 24, 2025
Perhaps due to my previous incarnation as a traveling know-it-all, I keep getting requests for a col... Read More
Adults Need To Use Their Imaginations Oct. 18, 2025
Have you been in touch with your imagination lately? I don't mean by hatching conspiracy theories or... Read More
When It Comes to Halloween, I'm on the Supply Side of the Economy Oct. 11, 2025
I'm told that ours is a market economy — driven by supply and demand, or end-stage capitalism ... Read More
Halloween Costumes That Will Offend No One Oct. 11, 2025
It used to be that Halloween offered a release valve on the year's serious discourse, a chance to in... Read More
Toddlin' in Chicago: Government Overreach, Circa 1972 Oct. 10, 2025
Chicago, I'd heard, was a toddlin' town. In fact, I'd heard it repeatedly from a woman in the seat b... Read More
What Would Erma Bombeck Do? Oct. 04, 2025
There's a quote going around from Erma Bombeck, the late, legendary essayist: "When humor goes, ther... Read More
Artificial Intelligence Meets Natural Stupidity Oct. 03, 2025
We keep hearing that Artificial Intelligence may one day decide to improve the planet by getting rid... Read More
New Slogans for Tylenol Sep. 27, 2025
The folks behind Tylenol have a rebranding conundrum. Overcoming the lasting harm of recent politica... Read More
Laughter for Fun and Profit Sep. 26, 2025
A young entrepreneur is meeting with the executive team of his top corporate client in the office of... Read More
The Tyranny of the Lawnmower Sep. 20, 2025
Chores I will gladly outsource to qualified professionals: oil changes, mammograms, colonoscopies, h... Read More
Mr. Marvelous Is Not His Real Name Sep. 19, 2025
As a professional speaker, I meet a lot of self-help gurus, some of whom are only too happy to work ... Read More
Quiz: Should You Give That Baseball to a Child? Sep. 13, 2025
Another sweaty, storied baseball season is sliding into home, but there's still time to steal a souv... Read More
A Novel Idea Sep. 12, 2025
At 7 a.m. that day, my short-term goal and long-term plan were identical: I wanted to survive the ne... Read More
Cracker Barrel Is a Distraction From a Darker American Rebrand Sep. 06, 2025
On a rainy Monday, I slid into a seat at Cracker Barrel. The chain's new, doomed logo dotted flatwar... Read More
